The New Social Fabric

April 21, 2020 — 42 Days Since WHO Declared COVID-19 a Pandemic

This moment is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

Society has drastically transformed social norms at the drop of a hat in order to protect the greater good. Though some will use this moment to try and boost political standing or financial gains, in general people are working in unified ways to get us past the crisis, and it’s heartening to see them coming together for this common cause. 

We’re even seeing proponents of small-government embracing policies they might recently have referred to negatively as “socialist.” As it turns out, social safety-nets are important when constituents' lives are at stake.

Democracy is still working on some level.

Interestingly, the physical space of social distancing is actually bringing us closer together in new ways, and is pushing us to weave an updated social fabric. Like so many others, my life has become a blur of homeschooling, Zoom* meetings, and live streaming events; all things I rarely did before the great pandemic struck.

So how is sheltering in place affecting us and what might the lasting ramifications be?

Education

Homeschooling has proved a significant learning curve for me, especially since I’ve got a couple of Montessori kids and neither my wife nor I are trained in that method. But we’re learning to give our boys a well rounded group of options and let them self-guide their path to learning within a loose framework. Kids need boundaries to feel safe and happy, but they also need to be able to explore broadly within those guidelines in order for true learning to blossom.

This philosophy is keeping us all happier than if we were trying to force specific curricula on them. Since they’re natural sponges at five and eight years old, they inherently know how to learn at their own pace. 

So far this seems to be bringing our family unit closer together, even as we sometimes struggle to get work done in such close quarters. When our kids look back on this they'll remember the feeling of the time more than anything they learned, so we're doing our best to make sure they feel loved and supported. 

It takes patience and discipline to remain calm and kind through the stress and anxiety of navigating an unprecedented and often scary new reality. This is not easy and we often fail, but the effort and love put in now will be worth it as we look back on this time.

I’m learning a lot through these trial and error cycles and I hope some of it will stick with me when we eventually head back out into the physical world.

Communications

I put an asterisk next to Zoom* earlier because said brand has become the de facto video conferencing platform of the moment, but that doesn’t mean I like it. Zoom is simple and stable which is great, but as I began to question who this company is that suddenly filters such massive amounts of our information through their system, news began to emerge about their less-than-optimal security.

During a Passover seder, the 40-minute limit on the free Zoom account we were using was mysteriously lifted. This was very kind of Zoom, but also kinda creepy. Did they know we were using their platform for a seder?

I’ve recently shifted to using Skype Meet Now which Microsoft launched to compete with Zoom’s simplicity. So far it seems to function better, have fewer restrictions, and is apparently more secure (but who knows?). 

I’ve been finding video conferencing to be quite productive for conducting business and will likely feel more comfortable using it in the future than I have in the past. Our kids on the other hand are having a hard time learning video conferencing etiquette. Whether it’s a “call” with school, family, or a virtual playdate, they’re more interested in making faces and using emojis than actually talking to people through the screen, and they generally lose interest after a few minutes. 

Their reactions are understandable. Connecting with people through devices is awkward, weird, and just not like the real thing. The idea that they’re not going to see their friends, teachers, and extended family in person for who-knows-how-long doesn’t compute. They’re generally in good spirits but regular tantrums still spring up out of nowhere. The emotional toll of all that’s happening around them is surely at play.

One day they’ll become much more comfortable using screens to communicate than we are, but for the moment I don’t want to push it on them, and in fact am inclined to simply let them play with each other, and even be bored. I’m sure we’ll look back at this down-time as a gift.

Space archaeologist Sara Parcak summed it up well in a recent twitter thread picked up by Buzzfeed: 

“We know we have to make sure [our son] stays as happy as possible, and that does not mean us forcing him to learn when he knows that something is very wrong. It's been a month and kids are super perceptive. He's scared because we cannot hide that we are. We talk a lot about what's happening to him. This completely stinks for him and all kids. He is missing his friends, his routine, his classes — he loves school — and we cannot even take him to the local park. It's the biggest crisis our nation has faced since WWII. We are all living history right now. Not really a good time for subtraction worksheets, in my opinion.”

Entertainment

Live streaming is not something I’d delved into before, but as my DJ gigs in March fell like dominos, I began to think about alternate ways to connect with people through music from home. 

First I worked on “Shelter in Place” Spotify playlists — one for dancing around the livingroom/kitchen, and another that’s more contemplative. 

More recently, I’ve been using Facebook and Instagram Live to connect with folks in real time. 

On March 28th I did a test run. I set up the cameras, plugged in the audio, and was off. I did no advance promotion. I just went live and before I knew it my family and I were dancing in our Chicago home as our friends around the world danced in theirs. We had 500 views with representation from Bangkok, Berlin, Boston, Los Angeles, Montreal, New York, Portland, Santiago, Seattle, and Tel Aviv.

The following Friday I live streamed a DJ set for my kids school fundraiser. That stream reached over 1,000 people and the school’s first ever online gala raised nearly $100k toward scholarships for families in need.

Having received some wonderful encouragement to keep these DJ sets coming (believe me, it didn’t take much) I’m now live streaming a “Shelter in Place DJ Series” every Saturday evening when my wife, 2 boys and I have a super-fun dance party with friends around the world. 

It’s not much like being out at a party with real people, but it’s fun in its own way, and it’s a solution to the difficult challenge of being a dad-jay who’s been searching for more regular outlets to mix and share music. This moment of isolation has provided the creative spark I needed to connect in a way I wouldn’t have just a month ago.

As this economic, social, political, and cultural upheaval continues to unfold, nearly every aspect of our lives will be affected. Many of the impacts will be negative. On the other hand, I see glimmers of light shining through the constraints as we’re forced to create new ways to learn, communicate, and engage. Might this hardship also be forging long-lasting changes for the better?

I think so.

—Jake Trussell, Principal, Metabolize

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